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No, she thought, even that wasn't the worst. The worst was that sometime after midnight she would be crawling into bed alone in that hotel, while Tom would be in bed alone at home. And the really, really, worst part was that it would be nearly a week before she saw him again.Damn, damn, Damn! Her life wasn't supposed to be like this. She had grown up in the South Bay, which they were calling Silicon Valley by the time she got to high school. She was seventeen when she became intrigued by computer programming, and she went on to San Jose State to get a BS in software engineering. She was in the perfect place at the perfect time.She started dating Tom in her last semester at Fremont High, and kept going with him after she went to SJ State, only ten miles away. She and Tom were really very different from each other, but they clicked, somehow. Besides, the sex was fantastic. In the middle of her junior year she moved in with him, and they were married that June. Tom hadn't gone to. Why hadn't I heard from him? Did our date go badly? It didn't seem like it. And, I then I remembered it was a fake date. Ugh. Damn it. Kay had said I needed to come clean this Friday, and at the time it seemed like a good idea. Now I wasn't so sure. Hell, I wasn't sure if we were still on for Friday. For our fake date. God, Anna, this practice dummy thing may have been the stupidest idea you've ever come up with.The voice on the intercom snapped me out of my fog and I tried to gather up all the papers my boss needed for his next meeting. Of course, I grabbed them wrong and they dumped out of my hands and all over the floor.Fuck.Thursday was no better work wise, But at least it was no worse either. I had begun to find my center on the whole John issue. I had finally passed through denial and was onto acceptance. I knew what I wanted, and I was going to let him know. If he didn't want it, his loss. We could still be friends, things might be weird, maybe our friendship would change.
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