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"Oh my god," shesaid. "I more or less figured I might eventually have to have sex, butchildren? Oh shit, I don't know... I mean, what am I supposed to thinkabout that?" Well, that's of course, up to you," replied the doctor. "But it issomething you will have to deal with. You will need to address twoseparate but related issues here. First, you must decide for yourselfhow you approach you role as a woman with regard to men - having thempleasure you - and - how you pleasure them. Second, you must realizethat you now have a pivotal role to play in your sexual relationships.You, not them, will now have the responsibility to both yourself and theman, to take charge of the potential to get pregnant. It will be up toyou to allow or not allow this potentiality of your new life."Sandi's head was swimming with these thoughts. She felt confused,embarrassed, excited, and scared sick, about the possibilities. Sooverwhelming were the thoughts that they seemed to short-circuit herbrain's. Nothing to be afraid of, quite the contrary."John ... don't worry. It was just a dream." Would you like to tell me?" Yes, I think I need to ... to explain something to you. But, if you don't mind, I'd like a cup of tea."In dressing-gowns, they went downstairs and brewed tea to take back to bed, where they leaned back against the head-board, John's arm round her as she leaned against him."Explain it how you like," she began, "a friend of mine described having several ... visits ... by his dead wife. I won't tell you the story, because it's his story, but I said to him ... I was sad I'd never had a visit from Barry after he died; I felt so alone. Then last year, I dreamed of him and his wife, who died a year or so before I met him; they said I would meet my life-mate this year. Tonight I dreamed of them again. Now that I'm with you, they can go on, they said. I'm not sure why I was crying. Perhaps there was more than one reason; that they'll be going completely out of my reach, that my.
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