Damn, That's Enough Teen Batter To Repopulate...

So I stumble back to my bed and lay there, waiting for sleep to overtakeand heal me. But the one time I crave it, need it desperately, sleepfails to come for me. I lay there, exhausted, too tenseto sleep. Relax, I try to tell myself, just relax and sleep willfollow. Twenty minutes later and not only am I drained, I'mfrustrated as well. My mind is racing and it won't let go of the thoughtsenough to let me sleep. It doesn't help that those thoughts center aroundhim and the complexities of our relationship, the bad as well as the good. Every little thing I've ever done "wrong" (at least in mymind); every little word of praise and affection and yes, love, from him. I sit up, dangling my legs over the side of the bed, andrealise I'm still playing with the damned belt. Still turning it aroundand around, doubling it this way then that, listening to a voice - hisvoice - remind me with a smile to not use the buckle end. I smile tomyself, still feeling a bit silly about that after all. So I rushed off the sites, deleted thehistory, and ran to the front rooms long sofa where I slid my pajamapants on threw the covers over me and acted as if I were asleep. As Ilaid on the sofa and listened to the keys turn my heart began to racerapidly as I remembered that I left my underwear by the computerdesk.when She walked in on the phone with my uncle, which was doingcontract work in another city at the time I knew it was too late toget my drawers so I just continued to play asleep.She noticed me lying on the couch she usually sleeps on when my uncleis away. she called my name twice but I didn't respond so she stoodover me for about 3 seconds and said, well I guess I will sleep on theother sofa and kicked off her high heels right by the sofa I wassleeping on and laid on the other couch which was shorter than the oneI was on. The sweet and sour scent of perfume, designer heels, and hersweaty feet rose to my nostrils giving me an instant hard that Icouldn't believe in my PJ's so I.
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