Girlfriend Straps Me And Makes Me Watch
You hurriedly minimise to your desktop and say “Come in.”It’s your mother, Kelly. She’s 36, having had you very young due to an accidental pregnancy that turned into a blessing, or so she always says. She’s few inches shorter than you, with a curvy body that she maintains with an active yoga regime, and long dark brown hair that she’s wearing loose today. Your friends are always teasing you about having a hot mom, and you can objectively see that she’s attractive, although you try not to follow that line of reasoning too much – she works as a catalogue model, but you’ve never taken much interest in that, and have steadfastly refused to tell your friends which ones she models for.“Hey mom,” you say. “What’s up?”“Hey sweetie, you sleep well?” She asks, brightly. This typically means she needs your help with something.“What do you need?” you answer, with a small smile. Kelly laughs.“I’m like an open book, aren’t I?” she replies, “I thought I’d finally clean out the cupboard under the. So she called me talkin bout she had an Old Collectible dealing wit da ancient Power of Pussy Essence.How old? I asked her.Bout 2,000 years old, she said in dat Soft-ass voice of hers.Im thinking to mah self: HOW SHE GIT THIS TYPE OF MONEY?Butt OUTLOUD Im like: WHO YOU THINK STOLE IT?I dont know for shure. Butt my guess is them THIGPEN Niggaz.Umph.I knew who da Thigpens was I just didnt figger they would be into PUSSY like dat. At least, not enuff to Steal dat kind of artifact. Sumpen MO had to be UP wit dis shit.Butt whatever was UP it all came DOWN to Pussy.And I wanted to git to da BOTTOM of It.Because according to CRAYOLA she first bought the ancient pussy piece off an Arab Muslim Nigga dat live in GARY, INDIANA.I useta know GARY like da back of mah hand back in da day.I was livin there back when Mayor RICHARD HATCHER was tryna help revitalize da muthafucka frum a cesspool of crime into a place where Gentrified Niggaz cood feel at home. I left soon afta dat tho. Aint been back.
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