From experience, I knew that crushes usually don't last and mine wouldlikely not be an exception. I immensely disliked the feelings I hadbecause I feared they were changing me somehow. I made a point to speakto Jacynthe after work.***A few days passed, and still, I had not received an answer fromStephanie or Anthony about my emancipation, nor had I spoken toJacynthe about my feelings. I asked Anthony, and he said he was stillworking on it. Ethan hadn't come around since our last conversation,and I was finding myself more and more distracted at work. I knew hewas just a kid, but we actually had similar interests. If we could stopmaking goo-goo eyes at each other, maybe we could be friends. I blamedit on the fact that I just missed talking to people about music, peoplewho understood. Am?lie didn't understand, but Ethan did. Even if heliked some crappy bands. I actually spent a little time at workresearching my crush and how to get rid of it. I couldn't have Am?liecatch me conducting. What is wrong with me? Why was I putting myself through this? I felt so nasty and ashamed. Why wasn’t I looking for a relationship? Someone serious I may marry one day and raise a family. I used to dream of that, but now all I could really think about was when I could meet and fuck my thug again. Just thinking about his dick going inside me, fucking me, the look on his face how he couldn’t believe he was fucking such a hot white girl like me. I wished so much I could talk to someone about this, but it had to be my secret. I didn’t want to hurt my friends and family, especially my mom. She would be so disappointed if she knew I was having sex with black men. But I can’t help it though. His dick feels so fucking good inside me. I can’t stop thinking about it inside me, moving, filling my pussy.I knew I would have to continue fucking my thug because he makes me cum, he makes me forget everything. I feel like I can be so free and just enjoy my body, his body, our bodies together. I love.
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