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“So the stories go...”“Oh I see,” she said. “So you’re the hero?”“Obviously,” I said. “I have a penis so I get to be the hero. Didn’t they teach you the classics in school?”She snorted at me. “I’ll just wait for your sociology teacher to fail you before touching that one.” She leaned closer to me. “But you can’t go home yet,” she continued. “You said it yourself. You need to learn something first.”“Oh, I’ve learned plenty,” I assured her. “And I’m not talking about cleaning pools either...” I grinned and took a sip of my wine before realizing what I’d said. I had to remember that she still didn’t know about my whoredom. I knew that I would eventually have to broach the nature of my employment before asking her to help me with it but I was waiting for the right time.“Have you?” she said. “The way I remember it, the hero must always endure some eye-opening experience, or have his mettle tested before he can learn anything.” I shrugged.“Maybe I’m just special. Maybe I’m the Chosen One.”. . Besides, don't you think I would have thought of the 'Hey, I'll get you drunk as a skunk on the best wine ever, won't take any kind of advantage tonight while you sleep it off, BUT, after I make you breakfast in the morning and you're sober again; you've got to blow me as payment...' gambit? Nope, it's a Curse, not a superpower, you can't make it useful that easily. So yeah, I've very rarely been able to get laid in the past 12 years, and each one was basically a one-time-deal, except Candy, and Candy was: well... Let's not talk about Candy, to quote 'Hotel California' "Some Dance To Remember, Some Dance To Forget." Look, I DON'T want to talk about Candy! There are some things that are better left forgotten, dark chapters of my history I would rather be left on the cutting room floor of memory instead of endlessly dredged up and played back like some kind of corpse trial of my mistakes and failures of judgment! Can we please just move on? Okay, Thank you. As I was saying, I've been.
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