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Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered the door, she looked at me and studied me for a moment “come in” she said, “we have been expecting you” she said “excuse me” I said “I think there has been a mistake I” I didn’t finish “there is no mistake” she said “you are Francesca’s father” she said “I am Polly, Simone’s partner” she said looking straight at me, “pleased to meet you” I said as I shook hands with her taking her fingers rather than gripping her whole hand “how did you know” I stammered “the eyes” she said, “she has your eyes, dark blue and very distinctive” she said, I was completely taken aback, “are they in?” I. I was alone. Hours passed.Hours of thinking, watching my life play out in my head, all my regrets. I didn’t care about sex anymore. Fuck sex! I just wanted Camryn. I wanted her then. I wanted her to hold me. Tell me that everything was ok. Hug me, kiss me. Make my damn pain go away. Fuck my penis, I hated it! It was the one that got me into this mess. If I just let my mind control my body and not my penis, I could be sleeping now. No pain. Wake up in the morning and go over to see her. Watch TV. Talk with her. Laugh with her. Touch her skin; just her hand would be the entire world to me. If I could just smell her, maybe my pain would go away.Everything changed so fast. I was having sex with her little sister. Fuck me! Why!? I wanted Camryn. Sex destroyed everything. Now we always fought; a constant tug of war. I was on the floor, so much pain. I lost. I was alone. I didn’t want to die.I could feel my body weakening every hour. Why did I have to stay.
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