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I didn't really love him and I don't think that he ever really loved me."I went with the expedition in the Duck to Sydney. One evening, a married man, Basil Ashcroft, caught me alone. He kissed me and fondled my breasts. He wanted to go further but I didn't like him that much. Later, a fellow my age made a play for me and I went along with it. I had sex with him and even spent the night under a blanket with him. I was caught by George and he washed his hands of me. He was more upset because I had lied and continued to lie about my experience. I don't blame him. I was dishonest."When the Duck left to explore further, I stayed in Sydney. I had relations with two other guys there. Then, George came back with Trina and I realized what I had thrown away by lying. I was saddened to see the joy they had in each other and knowing that I could have enjoyed a similar joy if I had been honest."I swore then that I would be who I am and never lie or allow a knowing false impression to exist about. I even doubted that I was worthy to be your bride.”“I told you -- your ... history with men, as you call it, is of no concern of mine. I don’t care how many previous lovers you’ve had, whether it be one or a hundred. I don’t want to know the details. How much or how little you share with me is up to you, but I don’t care.”“You’ve told me this over and over,” she replied. “Every time I feel the absolute truth to it. You haven’t told me why.”“You want to know why I don’t care?”April shook her head. “I NEED to know. I worry, Ron. I worry that you’ve convinced yourself you don’t care but deep down have nagging suspicions that some day will surface, and you’ll ask yourself, why did I marry a woman with a reputation?”“The answer is simple, April. Those men, those relationships ... they’re part of what formed you. They’re part of your makeup. Without them, you’d be a different you and it’s you I love. Without them, you and I wouldn’t be here. Think of it -- if you were a virgin right now,.
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