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She stays because of her need for security. I can’t go on much longer hanging around hoping for a few hours together occasionally. We have lived under the same roof together now for a number of weeks and I know that if we were to live together it would last a lifetime. We are perfect for each other. At least think about it before you make the decision on bringing Sue back.”“OK, will you stay in our present arrangement if Sue doesn’t come back?”“Yes, for a period but understand that if Sue comes back I will leave. It would absolutely destroy me to walk away but I have no future if I don’t.”“I understand. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you the way I have.”“It’s not your fault. It has always been my decision to keep our relationship going. You were a willing participant but you were never to blame.”The flight across the country seemed to happen quickly probably because I slept most of the time. The discussion with Marg had somehow sapped my strength. I decided before I got off the plane that. Then he told me about magazines with stories and letters from guys who watched their wives with other men or had threesomes, sharing their wives’ charms with other men. He has been reading those things since not long after he started high school and learned a lot about sex from them. He began to develop those fantasies and feed them with the magazines.I was pretty skeptical. He might think they’re sexy when he’s reading them, and when those letters and stories are about strangers. I just don’t think he could really see his wife doing some of the things he talked about and be okay with them. I’m not sure how I feel about it either. I probably should have been furious, or at the very least insulted. I know that at any previous time in my life I’d have found the subject of those letters degrading towards women. However, much to my surprise, those were not my reactions.I didn’t tell him how much the discussion was turning me on that evening. I pictured some of those things he described..
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