Shez_Khan – 29 June

’ Mare literally squealed at me excitedly. ‘Stephanie’s arriving later today so she can hear me speak tonight and we’re going to share the room I’m in until we both leave on Saturday. It’s been so long since we’ve been together that I’m about to jump out of my skin from the excitement. Isn’t that wonderful, Joe?’ ‘To be honest, Mare, no I don’t think it’s so wonderful. You know that we don’t like each other and I don’t trust her not to try and encourage you to be like her and forget about your promise to be mine and only mine for as long as we live. Promise me you won’t let her get you drunk. You know what will happen if that happens and you know you won’t be able to resist if the situation presents itself. I love you with all my heart, but if something happens while the two of you are together and you cheat on me, you better pray I never find out about it because there will be consequences for both of you if it happens and I find out.’ ‘Joe, I don’t know why you can even think that. By mid-afternoon there had been no change and eventually exhausted I fell asleep, having dreams which scared me but could not quite remember. At 5 ish I awoke and the sand in my brain started to drain out. At 7 I was hungry but there was still a central inner void in me which seemed to suck all hope. After a couple of false starts I got up at 8, washed my face and taking my Swiss Army knife used the scissors to trim my eyebrows. Then I took the tweeters from the Swiss Army knife and plucked my eyebrows, not severely but enough. I felt slightly better and could function again at least for a few days.The next day it was clear there had been a shift in my body image and mind-set but could at least attend lectures and be self-sufficient again. Nobody mentioned the eyebrows but there were a few stares but I did not care. The diet started a few days later as did the early morning runs and gym work. So far I had been coasting but now proper work would be required. Top of the list was.
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