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’ ‘Don’t call me that! Only Abby calls me that!’ Ayla exclaimed. She turned to him, her eyes flashing. ‘What do you want Dylan?’ she asked. ‘A second chance,’ Dylan answered. ‘Not a fucking chance in hell!’ Ayla spat. Carly’s eyes widened, she’d never heard that kind of language from her friend. ‘Let’s go Car,’ Ayla said, grabbing her friend’s arm and pulling her away. ‘Who was that?’ Carly asked when they reached Ayla’s dorm. ‘That was Dylan, my first boyfriend,’ Ayla said, unwilling to elaborate further, no matter how much Carly pushed. ‘Just please help me find something to wear to dinner,’ Ayla pleaded. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ‘What do you mean I’m wrong? I’m never wrong!’ a prissy girl in the front row of the classroom exclaimed, her shrill voice making everyone wince. ‘Stella, the First World War was not started because Ireland ran out of potatoes. Ireland running out of potatoes was the Potato famine and that was in 1846. World War One started in 1914,’ the professor said,. Apart from meof course, wide awake at two in the morning and worried about whetherthe Yorkshire puddings would rise enough to please the mother-In-Lawform Hell.Our household swells somewhat during the Yuletide season and this yearwas no exception. Aunts, Uncles, Brothers and Sisters, black sheep and aclutch of Grandparents all descend on the house like vultures pickingoff a prime leg of gazelle. It is a strange phenomena of the unreal andunearthly time known as Christmas that during its all too brief periodwe talk to and invite into our homes the most incredibly obnoxious andanti social creatures known to man i.e. the in-laws. My in-laws areBetty and Jim Dalrymple.Betty Dalrymple's whole life is devoted to undermining her daughter'sconfidence and blaming her for marrying a freak of nature like me; shedid not approve of my cross-dressing and she told everyone who wouldlisten that it "was not normal and I was silly calling myself Harriettwhen in a dress and-" You get the idea.Jim.
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