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I deserved it, so I thought. I couldn’t even begin to count all of the times James had called me fat and lazy over the time we had been together. Now that I was neither, the irony laid in the fact that he wasn’t able to see it. Yet. I became shamefully innovative during this time when I was thinking of ways to null the pain. I had seen and heard so many stories about how women dealt with pain in such sick, destructive ways. But those stories were lost on me now as I was consumed in my obsession and emotional destruction. I wanted my fix. I wanted to get rid of the thoughts of him as they burned fresh in my mind. I wanted to get rid of the emotion that nearly overwhelmed me every single time I saw him with her. One night, through a fit of starvation and lust craze, I ran to the cupboards, aimlessly opening and slamming the wooden doors. The last door I opened was the medicine cabinet. I stopped in my tracks. There they were, pills – so many, many pills. I threw all the bottles down. “But mom,” she sulked. As I gave her a stern look, she stomped her feet and went back to her room. I heard the door slam shut upstairs and looked back towards Santa. He started to trace his fingers down the front of my night gown until he reached the belt holding it together. With a swift motion, he tugged the belt loose and opened the gown, exposing my naked body underneath. “Oh my,” Santa started as his hands began to explore my naked body. “You have definitely kept your body in tune, especially after having three children.” I blushed as his hands grasped my 34DD tits and started to massage them slowly. His hands then sank a little lower, moving over my belly to my freshly shaven pussy. Teasingly, he drew his hand back as he reached the top of my slit. “What about your husband?” Santa said hesitantly. “Don’t worry, he’s sound asleep,” I purred, “He could sleep through the apocalypse.” Relieved, Santa began to unbuckle his belt. He lifted his ass up and pulled his trousers down,.
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