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Scrotum had become better at drinking. Now he could drink four pints and still make it back to his ship. Sadly, he wasn't so good with his money. His monthly allowance would usually only last a few days. Wasted on gambling and prostitutes most of whom just robbed him and left him watching porn. One of the only things Scrotum could brag about was that he did have one of the best porn collections in the known galaxy. Three months ago he had decided to up his game and spent his entire allowance on a second-hand sex-bot called “Rita Madeira Cake.” He had installed the software on the computer so it would talk dirty to him while he played with his, “New toy.” Unfortunately, he didn’t create a separate hard drive causing the sex-bot’s programming to mix with the ship's computer functions and combining with the A.I. Now it not only spoke to him in a sexy lady's voice all the time but would make sexual innuendos and favours at the most inappropriate times. Rita was voice-activated by the. “Yes?”“In here,” she said, stepping into one of the rooms. There she opened a closet.“Hey! You’re not supposed to be snooping around!”“Look. Clothes, for you.”“I am wearing clothes. Get out of there.”“Non, Arabic clothes! Regarde ici.”I had a look. Six or seven white thobes hung on a rod, with leather slippers on the floor underneath and a neat stack of red and white guthras on a shelf, with a few black igals dangling from a rack I would use to hang my ties off.“So?”“Wear this. You will look like a Saudi. We can walk together and they will think we are marié. Otherwise, you have to wait in the car. I can go alone, but I can’t wear this and talk to a white man in a suit.”“I see. Look, I’ve never worn this before. I’m not even sure what they wear underneath.”“Zis. White shirt, white cotton pants,” she said, pointing out two stacks I thought were towels. “You wear boxeurs?”“Boxer shorts? Yes.”“Good. I see you downstairs.”I like playing dress-up as much as the next man, which is to say.
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