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As we held each other I became aware of his cockhardening in his pants. I have been married 30 yearsand never once cheated nor has it crossed my mind to doso. This situation was a little embarrassing for me asI felt him push into me as I held him. I broke off the embrace and sat down feeling strange.John said he had to soon as there was a lot to doorganising the funeral and such. I said there was norush for him to go and would he like something to eator drink. He accepted and I got busy making him asandwich and coffee.My husband works night shift and was due to go to work.He came into the kitchen and again consoled John at hisloss and to be sure to let us know when the funeral wasso we could attend, he apologised he couldn’t talklonger but had to go to work. This left John and Ialone together in my kitchen with John eating the foodI had prepared for him.We chatted with small talk and I found myself askinghim if such a handsome young man had a girlfriend. Johnsaid his girlfriend. Which is one reason why I haven't remarried. Or maybe I am just a bit gun shy, for my future wife and I met in college, the marriage lasted not quite seven years, and I should have realized the quiet beauty of the village could not overcome the glamour of the affluent suburbia that had been her home before college.That my wife carried to term a beautiful baby girl that our doctor said would probably —and did—die during or just after childbirth haunted the two of us, and probably hastened our marriage's end. We still send each other Christmas cards, not that it matters.On both sides of the family, I am first-born of the generation, I do have one brother, and a number of cousins. It was the funeral of a cousin's in-law that I had attended, and because that in-law, an older woman, had been very gracious in the aftermath of the car accident that killed my parents, I felt I should be present at her funeral. So I drove the several hundred miles to another small town, this one east of.
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