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Going home felt strange at first. Ronald was there. He glanced up at me as I came into the living room. He was watching a football game."Hey," he replied as he went back to watching the game."Hey," was my reply.I stood there a moment, looking at him. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I thought back to having just been with Duane---fucking ourselves into a sweaty lather, while Robert, without knowing it, had been obsessing about the game! My pussy still tingled slightly as I walked on back to our bedroom to change clothes."Hey, what's for dinner?" I heard Ronald saying over the sports announcers yakking.That was so typical of my husband. He wasn't thinking of me, but of his stomach. That was all I seemed good for to him, which was true---but that was fine, because now I had Duane to turn to for those other things in my life that Ronald no longer cared to even try and meet.I didn't answer him.He asked again, but I ignored it yet again. I liked the feeling that gave me. I felt...more. Yes mainly women ormen who dress or have dressed as women. People I feel might know whatit feels like to be me even though they don't know me. People I wouldnever meet in the real world. The "tick box" world. The binary "male"or "female", "gay" or "straight" world.In the real world I try to help the fatherless, people who are about tofall off the ladder and become homeless. Because I know what it feelsto be homeless. And I wouldn't want anyone else to feel like me.After a day at work and dinner with my girlfriend I have found thatthere has always been something therapeutic about stepping into a pairof panties and fastening a bra around my chest. What was it that was sorelaxing about rolling a pair of tights up my legs? Why did putting ona suspender belt and stockings somehow feel more feminine as I fastenedthe stockings to the straps than rolling on a pair of tights?What was so purifying about painting my fingernails and toenails withnail polish and applying a good lipstick? .
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