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I even tried to give your two million back and you wouldn’t take it.’ The salesman looked as though he had swallowed a canary when Jennie said, ‘two million,’ but my wife never missed a beat, leading the confused man back into the lot. The first two models were ‘too small’ or ‘not enough’ according to Jennie. However, she did stop at a row of 6-series cars. I learned by listening carefully that this series of BMW’s were only coupes or convertibles. I had to admit they looked a lot better than my Honda, but—of course—they also cost more than twice as much. Jennie picked a model in a dark red metallic with the same white/black leather interior her car had. ‘Okay, now we can talk price.’ ‘I think I could do it for 130 plus your husband’s car.’ ‘Oh you poor man, you need to get out of the sun. You’re delusional. Let me tell you something, Jack. I spent five years on the road surviving by my wits so don’t think I’m an idiot. Why the hell should I pay you almost list plus my husband’s. Alex said they could do porn. Buzz laughed but Alex asked him why not? Buzz said he didn’t want to put his dick out there for the whole world to see, but Alex said he wasn’t talking about Facebook. Buzz thought, well, why shouldn’t he get paid for something he liked doing. (The truth was he was still a virgin.) When Alex told him how much they could get paid, he didn’t believe it. Alex stuck his hands out in front of him grabbing imaginary handle bars and went, “Varoom! Varoom! Varoooom!” Buzz laughed. Spring break came up and one morning Alex and Buzz found themselves in the Valley with falsified ID’s. The apartment didn’t look like anybody lived there, and the furniture was crappy. They were welcomed and sat down on the cheap sofa. Alex hadn’t thought about the fact that other people would be involved. The guy interviewing them was kind of creepy. Buzz wasn’t sure what this place was. There weren’t any hot babes. There weren’t any babes. The creepy guy asked them if they had ever.
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