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I feel like the foundation that I have built my life on is shaking. I have built my house on sand when I had always thought it was built on rock. ‘That’s enough little angels.’ Speaking in my soft voice was a trick I could still use on them to get them to calm down. ‘Please don’t fight. Let’s just go home and Jane can do her assignment homework, and if Thomas feels like he needs to do homework, I can give him a small page of words. But Mummy is terribly tired tonight, and I need you both to be a little quiet for me.’ As they fire all the ‘what’s wrong?’ style questions at me I can see that this was a silly strategy to get some peace. While we are all climbing into the car, I confess my exhaustion to be because of work, and they are satisfied with this explanation. At least I think they are satisfied because they are fighting over which seats to sit in and emptying their bags into the car. Driving home, the children playing and bickering in the back, I am struck again by my situation.. Because of that you haven't had access to any of what was me. Memories, skills, nothing. Now that we're aware of each other in here, I hope that will change." Well, I guess I hope they do to. I was sad thinking I'd never get the chance to know you, and even sadder knowing that you were my great-grandson. I've been feeling pretty lost trying to live as a part of your generation. The world has changed too much since I was young. I don't know how to do anything. I don't know what anything means." Well, you were doing okay so far. You got a cell phone, a laptop, a car, cable TV and an internet connection, and you managed to not look too lost doing it." Well, that was mostly just treading water," I admitted."Maybe so, but you got a class act like that Kelli Montoya to give you her number, and I don't think I could ever have had that kind of luck with her. Your manners might be those of a different age, but they're classy, and she liked you because of that." You think?" I think. And I.
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