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I was a stupid fucking fool.Mary screamed and yelled and cried. It was the lowest point in my life. I really considered taking my own life. I really loved Mary. I just did something really, really stupid. Because Mary was a compassionate caring woman she kept me. I don't know if she did it because she loved me or for the kids sake. To this day I really don't know for sure. All I knew is that I hurt her deeply. So deeply that life between us was never the same after that. This might be hard for most readers to understand but my infidelity hurt me probably as much as it hurt Mary. I know that a part of me was now dead to Mary. The caring, trusting, forgiving and loving part of our marriage had changed. I don't think she ever forgave me. I know to her dying day I never heard her say it.About a month after the affair things went pretty much back to normal. We did the school things with the kids. We took them on trips whenever we could afford to. Over all, our family life was good. Our. He had enough time to go home, grab a quick lunch, change, and make it back into the city for his afternoon appointments. He cringed a little thinking about how unpleasant the visit with his lawyer was going to be, but he wanted it all to go smoothly. If he knew his wife at all, she would want to just split it all evenly and move on. As the smell of coffee filled Kate’s small kitchen, David’s mind wandered back to his wife. She was a good person and he cared about her, but they just didn’t have much of a relationship anymore. They both worked way too much and neither one of them put any effort into keeping their lives connected. They had gotten to the point over the past few months where they hardly even shared the details of their days with each other. He wondered momentarily if perhaps she’d already found someone new. He tried to muster up some jealousy at the thought, and did manage a tad, but if that was the case then mostly he was just happy she had someone to fill the void he.
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