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But one thing you have to think about is how you want to beknown. If you're going to look like this, fine, but?" But?" Well, I know how beautiful you looked when you were at the cocktailparty, well?I think that's how you should be."Frankie shook his head. "I understand what you're saying, but, well, it'snot necessarily me." What are you, Frankie? Are you a transsexual?" I don't honestly know. I'm not sure. I mean, I love to dress and lovebeing dressed, but I have no desire to live with anyone but Helen. I knowI love her." Have you ever lived full time as a woman?" No. During the past summers, I'd let my hair grow and occasionally wear adress and go out, but mostly I've dressed in the house." So were you comfortable as a closeted cross dresser." Uh-huh." So, what caused the change?" Helen made the suggestion. She thought of the book idea, she thought ofincreasing my dressing and well, taking hormones and even the surgery onmy nose and neck." Well, you think about it. We'll support. .” I started shaking, the pain of expressing these long withheld thoughts pushing me close to tears and I was struggling to keep them at bay. “You’re right about it being disrespectful, Ray.” Michelle said, comforting me. “It is very disrespectful to try to change a spouse’s thinking by way of lecture, ridicule, threat, or negative aspersions and so on.” I looked at her surprised. “Are you a counselor?” I asked, smiling weakly, although my question was meant with the deepest regard for her, both physically and emotionally. “I have had some training during my nursing days. I always knew it come in handy, little did I know who with though.” She kissed my hand, before continuing. “You see, these ‘attacks’ on your personality, your character, your intelligence and values and the like, undermine the mutual respect that forms the basis of love. The tendency is then for you to retaliate in some way, in your case to withdraw and not share your ideas. Therefore, it becomes hard for you to.
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