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Veronica is a wholesome beauty. Not a fashion model but the kind of approachable beauty that appeals to other women like me. Shoulder length black hair, dark Latin eyes, skin tones that reflected her Mexican heritage, and a well proportioned figure that had filled out a bit too much. But I didn't want to cheat. Somehow, I mustered the self control to stand up. "No. No. I can't. I've been true to him. I'm so sorry. Maybe I should go." No. No. It's OK, we shouldn't have been so bold," Veronica replied. "I'm the one who should be sorry. And you can't go back to that cold place," I stood there staring at her with tears and desire in my eyes. "Well I guess I'd better go to bed, OK?"That night didn't offer much sleep. My head was filled with fantasies and memories. My hands wandered over my chest as I recalled the summer after my sister Patty's freshman year in college. The two of us had been on double dates that ended in sex with our boyfriends and even changing partners. Was that so. I was angry with everything and everyone, especially God. How could a benevolent, loving God allow this to happen to me, to us?I met Alyssa for the first time the day after Susan left; it was love at first sight. She took my hand and I looked into her bright blue eyes and I was hers from that moment on. That meeting destroyed my depression, eased my hurt, and in large part erased my anger. Only the sadness remained but it was a shadow of what it had been; with Alyssa front and center I had no time to be sad.For close to twenty years, we spent almost every day and night together. The evenings that she went out with friends were hard on me. I would pace back and forth like a lion in a cage until she came home. As I heard her at the front door I would sit in my big overstuffed chair and pretend I was interested in the newspaper or a book. Alyssa would tell me about her exciting evening, kiss me goodnight, and go to bed.The few weekend or sometimes week long trips that she went on were.
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