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I was taking a mental inventory of the past two or three years. It wasn't an easy thing for me to do, because there was a lot for me to look at, and to be ashamed of. I had always given in to opportunity and temptation. More than that, I had gone out of my way to create these opportunities. If it felt good, I wanted to try it.I had many memories stored up inside my head, and I separated them into lots of different piles, like my mother did with her business receipts. She did it to make it easier for her to fudge on her taxes. I was doing it to try to see if it might be possible to clear up a large enough opening so that I could hope to build some kind of a foundation for Clara and I to build on and be with each other.I knew, just because of the way we were, that there had to be a very solid foundation, if our love was ever going to survive our two temperaments. Both of us had shown an amazing unwillingness to walk down any path that wasn't of our own choosing. I knew it wasn't going. Melina and I made our way to the aquarium bench and had a seat. Our conversation was fluid and insightful. We spoke about work, our future goals, where we’d like to visit and even our dream house. At this point, I wasn’t sure which of my senses was stimulated more, my mind or my body, which was subtly excited by the quality of our outing. I had the inkling that she may had wanted to kiss me, but as a gentleman who was just looking for a friend, I continued to drift my eyes out of direct contact with hers and avoided fantasizing about her lips at all costs. The last thing I wanted her to think that I was some kind of pervert looking for a piece of ass on what was supposed to be merely a friendly meet. We continued our conversation under the oceanic lights of the aquarium. There were miniature sharks and manta rays swimming around us, schools of goldfish gliding by. Melina even pointed out a clownfish that resembled Nemo from Disney fame. It was just a good time all around, then our.
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