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What happened last night?”“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”His son replies, “Oh THAT ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”Broken Coffee Table $239.99Hot Breakfast $4.20Two Aspirins $ .38Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS!Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then. It had been weeks since I'd had to scramble up eggs for her or pour her a bowl of cereal. This way was a lot cheaper for me and a lot more humiliating for me.There was a three-minute sand timer on the counter. I picked it up and set it on the floor right beside the dogfood bowl. She stared at it as I turned it over, the anger still bright in her eyes. I ran my hand over her bottom a few times, feeling the cool flesh. It was chilly in the basement, I kept it in the 60's, enough to be uncomfortable but not enough to make her sick. After all, sleeping in the basement was punishment and needed to feel like it."The chair came today," I said, watching her staring at the sand. She sniffed the bowl but didn't move. "Come on, puppy, you don't want to be hungry all day." I stroked her bottom again, letting my hand cup her ass, my fingertips grazing her cunt lips. Her thigh muscles flexed as she tried to open her legs. I slid my hand further down, fingertip touching her clit now. She pushed.
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