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I began to imagine thesein my mind to test how I would react. I thought of her saying, "I'mworried about who will take care of you when I die, I've got to find youa rich husband." And then I thought of how absolutely humiliating it wasthat I was so gutless I wasn't going to correct her by saying, "But Mom,I will have a wife not a husband." I was the biggest wimp in the world.In my mind I started to think of nightmare scenarios, I felt like therewas a struggle taking place inside of my mind and body and that thesubmissive side was sinking me lower and lower. I felt embarrassed thatmy mother calling me a queer had given me such a pleasurable erection. Ididn't want to like that. I wondered about my mother's state of mind, Iconsidered that she had always wanted a lot of power over other peopleand had found an easy target in me. Aspects of her power over me weregrowing more apparent by the day. First, although I had talked aboutHollywood gossip with her in the past, certain celebrity. With a towel wrapped around my waist, I was ready to do some exploring in this bathhouse. As I left the locker room, I felt the responsible thing to do was to take a quick shower and clean up. Walking into the shower area, I saw that it was set up in a communal manner - each single stand with four shower heads. I turned on the hot shower and rinsed my body as I stood alone in the shower. As I was washing my face eyes closed, I heard the tap next to me turn on. I quickly washed the soap off from my face and was presented with a young white lad who was also enjoying his cleaning. I pretended not to pay attention to him, but his tall and masculine frame was quite a sight. I bent down to wash my legs but did so deliberately to give me an excuse to study his cock. While it wasn't as big as my first cock experience, it was circumcised and exposed its knob to the raining water. My neighbor noticed my gazes and smiled at me as he started to rub his cock with his left hand while motioning.
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