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It’s deep and fulfilling but different, very different.She changed too; changed her view of herself, wouldn’t dress up the same, saw herself differently, didn’t become immune to romance but laughed it off, made it seem less relevant and put herself down."Mutton dressed as lamb," she’d say. I hated that expression. I’d heard her mother say the same thing and those ideas are hard to shake. Two years and a hysterectomy after the last baby it all changed. Did the children feeding suck the magic out of her breasts? Did the surgeon take her confidence with her womb? I never thought so but she did. I couldn’t convince her that there was still magic in those breasts, in her body, in her. I was too familiar I guess, too easy to discount, too biased she thought."You would say that wouldn’t you," She’d say, convinced that I spoke from love rather than reality.Her night school teacher on the other hand; an adulterous philanderer who was only interested in himself, glibly making promises he. He also laughed and started asking me about my “sexual escapades”. To say that my experience was meager is to exaggerate, so that was what I did, I exaggerated the very few blow-jobs and finger banging I had had with girlfriends in school. He did a good job of being impressed of the things I told him and asked me specifics of what I like have done to me and how, I answered the less awkwardly as I could. Again, he agreed with my response and followed up by asking me, "so, how big is it?" My eyes opened surprised and looked at him. He laughed and asked, “is it big?” I got really self-conscious and like a stupid school yard boy I defended my pee-pee, and told him that it was alright and nothing to feel sorry for. He again laughed, laid back and began to become more comfortable on the couch. There was a light pause and just the crickets spoke for a sec. Then my eyes went from his face all the way down his laid out body and stopped at his crotch were his right hand rested. My curious.
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