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But even though he had been forward enough to kiss her, when her body trembled, he did not push further and try to take more, instead he walked out of the room. It was only after that action she realized his kiss was soft and tender like she once had believed a kiss was supposed to be. But before his kiss, every other kiss she had was from Roger or one of his friends or maybe she should call them associates. Those kisses were not kind or gentle and definitely not loving. She looked at the trucker and wondered what it felt like to be his wife. She couldn't help wonder how lonely his wife must have felt when he was gone on the road. She couldn't help but be curious how often they had sex when he was home. She blushed and felt some shame when she felt curious what it might feel like to have sex with him. Only a few months ago she would have thought the idea of flirting let alone sex with a male much older then eighteen gross, that was before Roger arranged for multiple adult. “What about him?” she shrugged. “It’s just sex with him. And even that isn’t always that great.”“Why?”“He’s done so fast, before I’ve even gotten really excited.”“So do it again, then.”“He usually can’t get it up again for a while. But it doesn’t matter, anyway. I don’t feel any love for him. I thought ... I thought when I got back this year, I would feel differently. But it’s the same as last year. It’s just a summer fling.”I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t have any reason to believe James and she were meant for each other, so there was no motivation to try to convince her of it.“So you want to find someone to love?” I asked.She nodded. “It’s hard.”“You’re just fifteen,” I reminded her, laughing a little.“So are you. That’s why I’m jealous. You’re so lucky.”“I guess. Well, who do you like at school? There’s at least a hundred guys at our high school. And actually, another hundred girls.”“I don’t know,” Lara said dismissively. “You know how guys are. Some are boring. Some are.
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