Innocent Boy Romance With Neighbor 30 Years...

I yawned, starting to feel tired. "I just broke up with Mary Jane toprotect her. You think I'm going to try and get back together with her?"I snorted derisively and rubbed sleepy eyes. "I have a sinking suspicionthat's not going to happen. Even if I wanted it too," I continued,touching my chest to emphasise my point. Yep. The truth hurts. Igrimaced. "No. I wear the mask to protect the ones I love. But... thisisn't a mask." I motioned at my new face. "This is me now. And there isstill a Peter Parker. You have no need to worry, Pete and I are goingour separate ways. There isn't room in his life for me. The only reasonI would get back into his life would be if you guys threatened it. Ifyou try to use that as leverage on me then it will end badly foreveryone. You have my word on that. Tell your bosses that too," Istated. God. That's pretty much the truth. I sat there, the crushingweight of my own words baring down on me. Oh. No. I felt wetness in myeyes. My life as I knew it really was. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 3- seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek20. Viagra becomes an over.
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