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The first Arab says, “I was walking along Bloor Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Canadian Flag attire with a white beard and cowboy hat came boiling out. He said, “I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
 fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
 went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
 Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you’ve never been in an X-rated. Old Tom was not a religious person but he insisted his wife and three daughters be visibly present in the midst of the congregation with great consistency in order to compensate for his miserable record of attendance.Millie was the youngest daughter and unlikely to be wed before the other two sisters.She didn’t think that was quite fair because both of them were of barely passable degree of attractiveness to the male gender. The eldest daughter Rose was nicely presented when viewed from the rear with trim heart-shaped hindquarters that moved most seductively when in motion. Unfortunately, it was when one got a good look at her face that any thought of physical communion with her as a partner went right out the window like the contents of the previous night’s bedpan. The poor girl was downright discombobulated with features from nose to chin. In addition to that, she would have a minimal dowry because her father usually found coins for drink of a higher priority to his daughter’s.
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