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“I have always let my friends be the center of my world. Even when I didn’t particularly care for some of them – when I just included them to improve my standing in a certain group – things revolved around them. I know I keep coming up with excuses for how I’m acting but the truth is that I have a lot to unlearn and it isn’t easy. I stayed popular – first in prep school and now in college – by being everything to everyone in the popular crowd and by intimidating the unpopular crowd. Whoever I was with or whoever I wanted something from next was who I focused on pleasing.“I’ve thought about things a lot after we talked on Thursday. I realize I’m still trying to be all things to everyone. I know Tiffany and Molly want to do wild things and try stuff they’ve missed out. I’m trying to be that person for them. I know Katelyn wants to feel like she’s more than just a friend we keep around so no one calls us racist. I’m trying to be that for her even though race has nothing to do with it.. Now he could feel the heat washing over him, it was all he could do to keep his nerve beneath her gaze. "And if I refuse?" Was it Rebecca's imagination or did the rapier wobble ever so slightly as it was raised once more to her throat. Was there a tremble to his voice? "Then I will simply cut you out of it, though I would hate to tarnish such lovely work." Removing the gown was no easy feat for a woman used to being dressed and undressed by a maid. In fact, it quickly became an object lesson in futility. If he wanted her out of the gown, and never had he longed for anything so much, he would need to take it off himself. She had expected aggression, she expected him to rip it from her. The gentleness of his touch as he spun her around and began to untie and unbutton her was so surprising: there was no hurry to it, no fumbling. She heard the rapier sliding into its sheath and the next his nimble fingers were expertly removing her from her gown. He was so close now that his smell.
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