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Well, fuck that. He wasn’t a pussy!Ok, he was a bit of a pussy.Just a couple week ago, he was riding high on his ego after a successful mission for Xnomina, and even higher after having slept with three women in a single night. But now he was standing on the sidewalk outside his apartment building, watching the nightlife walk by, taxis drive by, and he had no fucking idea what he was doing.Suddenly, the kine he was supposed to feed on weren’t kine. They were humans. They had thoughts and feelings and voices.“Social anxiety? ... really?” He jabbed himself in the forehead with a finger. He was a Kindred. He was a fucking vampire.But he just stood there, shuffling his feet, watching people go by. Paralyzed.“Hey.”“Holy shit!” He jumped, spun around, and actually landed on his ass.It was Shark-mouth. She was leaning back against the door to the apartment building — she’d gotten behind him so easily — with arms folded against her stomach and one boot against the door. She really carried. She said she’s sorry she ever married me!????My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason!????Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 per cent. It’s called a wedding cake!????Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup!????My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface!✧ ✧ ✧I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish. “I wish to live forever,” I said. “Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that particular wish.” “Fine,” I said, “then I want to die the day after Parliament is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people’s best interests!” “You crafty bastard,” replied the fairy.✧ ✧ ✧LARRY ... CUTELARRY MAY BECOME MY NEW FAVOURITE!!!!A new teacher was.
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