When A Finger Aint Enough

I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her legs were shadows. I couldn’t see her face. ‘I feel such a twat.’ She slipped her arm through mine and we walked like that towards the house. ‘We all knew how you feel about her. We always knew.’ I nodded, was that all I was capable of doing? Tippi stopped, restraining me with her gentle grip on my arm and turned me to face her. ‘You cant help how you feel. Nothing hurts like unrequited love but yours wasn’t unrequited,. He said he’d be here by 4:00, so I left the door unlocked on this blustery winter day. And as I walked through the house to the base of the staircase. I looked out the windows and watched the snow swirl around and make small drifts in the street. I head up the stairs and take off my clothes as I enter my room. I turn on the water and it doesn’t take long for the steam of the shower to fog up the windows and mirrors. I step over the edge of the tub and absorb the hot water as it pours over my sore muscles. I pull the curtain closed and bend over to place the plug in the drain. I’ll stand for a bit while the tub begins to fill. I add some bath salts to the tub and let the shower water pour down straight over my head, rivulets pass over my ears, face and down the back of my neck. I shiver with pleasure. The shower takes forever to fill the tub, so I turn off the shower and use the faucet instead. Damn, I forgot to light the candles. I step from the shower damp and chilled to light.
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