DENISE ON THE TABLE

Even then, barely into adulthood, I did not expect us to make love as if we were married but I had imagined we would find time to do so occasionally, like at least once more. It is not easy hiking with an erection. The canoodling was worth it. The trail began to work itself away from the river and climb. That was the only moderately difficult section of the trail, the narrow switchbacks that climb the bluff. Atop the bluff, the trail climbed more leisurely. The cottonwoods and willows gave way to birch, scattered cedar, and oaks. It had to have been close to noon by then. It was humid inside the woods, the mosquitoes and deer flies jostled each other for a chance at the table. I have a vivid, an exacting memory of the taste of your mouth, your skin, your sweat. I have an equally vivid memory of how Deep Woods Off tasted if it got in your mouth, the bitter solvent taste of the stuff. We had to have been covered in bug spray, had to. Otherwise, we’d have been nothing but a mass of. These thoughts are shameful and I hate them. If I have these thoughts too many times in one day while I’m at work, I’ll excuse myself to the bathroom, sneak into the women’s room, lock the door, and scratch at my stomach skin with a pen cap until I bleed. The pain and the blood will usually get my mind off of these fantasies and back to what I love: Business.Anyway, let’s get to business.Last Thursday was just like any other day. I woke up at 5:30AM in a panic, gasping for air, heart pounding out of my chest. This is how I always wake up, don’t know why, it just is. I threw up in my bed then got some paper towels and wiped it all up. This happens pretty often as well, don’t know why, it just does. I can’t wash my sheets every time it happens or else I’d be doing laundry four days a week at least, so I’ve found the paper towel method works just fine. I got dressed into one of my favorite outfits: black pants, light blue button down, black tie, black jacket. I left my apartment and got.
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