Desi BJ
She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately. I tell her simply “You’re screwed”. Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared. I continue. “I am sterile”Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women’s logic. “You’re full of shit. You’re trapped and you know it”.I hold up the letter and the test results. “Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am. ? Almosttwenty years since Laura died and Keyna still stays in touch with me,much to your father?s disgust. He was embarrassed by his older sisterand there was some bad blood between them. That?s why he disapproved ofyou spending so much time with her. Keyna has never partnered withanyone else. On the anniversary of Laura?s death she most always spendsthe day with me.? She looks wistful.?Grandma? May I ask a favor of you???Certainly, honey. What can I do for you??I swallow hard. ?Obviously we are going to have a small ceremony. You?llbe my only family member present. Would you walk me down the aisle andgive me away??She smiles. ?Honey, I?d be honored! Have you two set a date???Not yet. Now that we have your blessing,? I answer, ?we need to work onplanning. While you?re here this weekend, maybe you could help us???Absolutely! Glad to do it. Let me start right now with some advice forthe bride. Maybe I shouldn?t say some of these things in front of yourhusband-to-be but you know me. I.
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