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Slowly she calmed down while I sat and waited. "I cannot leave, James. I have no papers. I was smuggled across, in a tractor trailer, and I do not have citizenship in this country, even though my husband was born here and my two little children were born here. I am an illegal; a wetback." "If I were to leave I do not think my husband would turn me in. No," she said getting angry again. "not my husband. But.....his father." I could not see the fire in her eyes at that moment, as she was looking down and talking as though talking to herself, but I could feel the hatred in her soul at that moment; see it in the tension of her shoulders. "His father would turn me in, and I would be deported back to Juarez." She looked back up at me. "How long do you think I would last in Juarez, James?" she asked looking very very angry. "What do you think they would do to me there?" I did not answer. It was a rhetorical question. "Better to be a whore for one man than to be a whore. Those of you who know me, know that I am a woman who tends to overreact to things and fear the worst. I turned to my daughter and fretted, what if she is just asking me out to see how I am? What if she doesn't want to be friends? What if it's a actual date? How do I dress? How do I not look desperate? My daughter, bless her heart, being accustomed to her mothers worries just laughed and said, "I'll help you get ready." We went upstairs, and I tried on every dress, pants suit, jeans and blouse combo I had, trying to guess the tone of the evening. After about an hour of this my daughter came in and said, "Here put this on". She handed me one of her dresses, which was about to her knees. My daughter was all of five foot tall and weighed maybe one hundred and five pounds soaking wet. So, as you might imagine, this dress was so tight there wasn't any room for underwear much less a bra. I wore black leggings and borrowed the boots she bought with her dress which were also a little on the.
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