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My wife and children had never visited me in the hospital and I got very few letters and cards. I had no other family because my parents had died about 6 years before within a few months of each other. I would phone home occasionally but the children were withdrawn and I never got to talk to Susan. She was either at work or at a meeting. From time to time one of the children would mention she and Mr. Geitner (her boss Timothy) had been out to supper or to some social function. I never got any response to my questions and was beginning to worry. Finally I was released from active duty and allowed to return home. I was so happy and excited. I phoned the children and told them to have their mother pick me up at the airport and to be safe I e-mailed my flight number and arrival time. I remembered how choked up I felt and how my eyes misted as I looked down on my home area when the plane was landing. I could hardly wait to see my wife and family and hold them once again. I looked and. This is my last few moments as a free man. The truth was, Idid have second thoughts. There were plenty of times I picked up the phone and dialed the first 6 digits of Alex's private number ... but each time something stopped me. Sure, there are plenty of guys who would be envious of me right now ... but I wasn't sure that many would actually go through with it if given the chance. So why was I going through with it?My mind went numb as I remembered the smell of her perfume. That wonderful sent that would soon be with me constantly. Images of her long black hair reaching down just past the arch of her back; those beautiful tan legs closing around me as she shared with me her most intimate moments ... filling me with part of her self ... using me ... in the most degrading way imaginable ... To experience that day after day, for me at least, is worth suffering for ... and even dying for.But for a moment, when the car arrived 5:59pm, I felt that panicked sensation once again. My life is.
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