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All this time I thought she loved me…but she was probably using me. Just as she used that bastard I found in my bed with her.’ Taking a swig from his own bottle, John asked him, ‘Over the past year Misha, has she ever given you reason to believe that she’s done this before?’ Misha sat sprawled in the big leather chair, his bottle of beer balanced on his belly, ‘I’m not sure. Looking back she could have. But I’m not sure….it really hurts John…I love her, but she’s like two different people. The one I love…and this person who has doesn’t care about anything but getting hold of the drugs, getting drunk and now I find whoring herself out to get them.’ ‘Misha you have to accept she’s an addict. You can’t stop her, she has to stop herself. It’s an illness. What you’ve been doing over the past year is to try and treat her as if it’s just a blip every so often and that she’ll be able to stop, but you can’t do that. The need inside her controls her.’ ‘I thought that she was doing ok, that. There was a Filipina girl on stage, her bare ass facing the eager spectators. She got on her hands and knees a gave her ass a good loud slap. I was greeted by the manager who knew exactly what I was there for and took to me to one of the private lap dance rooms. I don’t remember what was said, but it was brief and he offered for me to come back and start next week. He introduced me to one of the girls who took me around to show me the lockers and dressing room. She was really sweet and super friendly. Everyone was surprisingly really nice and professional. I watched the others girls give their shows, working the pole, bearing every inch of their bodies to the crowd and wondered if I could do the same. I got a ride home from one of the bouncers and planned to come back next week. I didn’t make it back. Why that was is a story for another time. I never became a stripper and I didn’t give it a second thought after that. I grew up to be a nice little office girl who wears sensible.
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