India

Don’t you have a beer tent that needs you or something?’ ‘Forget the festival,’ I said embracing her. ‘Let’s just stay here in bed all day.’ ‘The sex was good Mark,’ she said pushing me away, ‘but my glass pays the bills.’ She rose from the bed and began getting dressed. Admiring her nude body in motion was like watching gazelle on film: graceful, elegant, spectacular. ‘Your wrong, about what you said,’ I stated from the lingering warmth of her disheveled bed. ‘Mark…please…I…’ She looked as if she were about to say something else but instead ended with, ‘Just go.’ I did not need to be told twice, I dressed in silence and left. I eventually found myself back at the beer tent where the crew had already begun assembling. It was a very long day. For sixteen hours I worked, trying unsuccessfully to erase the memory of Sophie, my body at the taps but my mind remaining in her trailer: enfolded within the console of Sophie’s embrace, bathed in the placid projections of stained glass light.. "So that's how it went on and this nagging feeling of guilt sapped my energy and I just didn't want to do anything even with you who never stopped being loving and patient. Then I got another thing to be miserable about." What was that?" That in my short time in the Army I had caused the end of two officers' careers. Serena took me to task on that. She got me to admit I didn't have any regrets about Fitzmaurice and then argued me round on Robert when I said I felt I had kicked him when he was down. She pooh-poohed that by saying that he was down when I arrived in Benghazi and that it was entirely his drinking that had caused Janet to leave him. Then, in addition to all that, I blamed myself for Peter Instead being removed from command early. That wonderful letter from your father did much to assuage that."Victoria nodded in agreement."Anyway the original guilt feeling was still there and I was trying to come to terms with it. Furthermore, despite Serena, I still had this feeling about.
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