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She wouldn’t be able to handle all the things you could and did.’ I held back a tear as I continued my questioning. ‘So you’re gentle and loving to her?’ He only shrugged. ‘Len is a gentle and loving woman.’ I sniffled a little, a tear beginning to run down my cheeks. ‘And I wasn’t?’ He shook his head. ‘You were a whiny, emotional child, Xiara. You needed discipline.’ I buried my face into my knees, halfway sobbing. ‘I didn’t need discipline! I needed love and affection, and the one human being who could possibly give me that unconditionally is gone! You made me kill my only child!’ He scoffed again, my comments not seeming to affect him anymore. ‘Your child felt no pain.’ I looked up crazily, abruptly stopping my cries. ‘My child felt no pain. Really? So if my intentions were to do the same to Sierra what you did to my child, she would feel no pain?’ I apparently struck a nerve, as he instantly swung around and kicked me full force, propelling my body into a cabinet. I yelled. She quickly fell in love and he equally quickly bedded and wedded her. Now she was 52 and he was the only man she had ‘known’ since that time. Oh yes, of course there had been clumsy fumblings as a young teenager, and somewhat unsophisticated and uncomfortably messy sex at University…after all ‘everybody did it’. But Bernard had taught her the true pleasure of giving herself without reservation or embarrassment, submissively and in total trust to his every need. He had demanded and she had surrendered, gifting all that she possessed, all of her ‘self’, body and soul, to please him. And he had brought her to pinnacles of ecstasy she had never previously known or thought could exist. Her wailing sobbing fulfillment had matched his own urgent calling, crying, throbbing, pulsing end to their passion. The years passed, the frantic searching, each of the other lessened in its intensity. Now 30 years on it was their wedding anniversary. After 30 years - a very special anniversary she.
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