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- I laid in the late spring sun, having applied my lotion, and sipped on a strong mix of rum and pineapple juice. I had been jumpy all day, and it only got worse as I disrobed and put on a swimsuit, knowing the next time I took something off, it could very well be in front of this man, Deke, that Hani had chosen for us. Was there an 'us' to this? I wondered to myself. Or was this simply for her, and I would watch? Would I really sit there and watch, like some lesbian cuckold? No, of course not. We were supposed to do this together, even though we never really got specific. All the talk about what it meant for her, and how I would handle it, and we never really talked about what would happen when the time came. Did I really even want this? Of course not! But I did agree to it. Maybe I could bow out and let them do whatever they do. No, then I’d feel guilty just in case it didn’t go right somehow and I wasn’t there to help her. Besides, it's just sex, so relax! I panicked. .. praying ... and trying to decide how to say what I want to say..."Dulcie cocked her head. "Why not just... 'spit it out'?" Because I need to challenge you, but I don't want to hurt you." Now you're worrying me, Peter." Dulcie ... sweetheart ... I think you're possibly the bravest person I've every known..."She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand and went on, "I don't think I've ever known you to back away from a difficulty, a challenge, a threat. No matter the potential for you to be hurt – physically or emotionally – you've stood straight and met the problem head on ... until now." What are you talking about?" Jack Cooper."There was a very long pause then, before Dulcie let out a breath... "Oh." Followed by, in a very small voice, "do you really think so?" Darling ... I don't think you're afraid of the spiritual threat ... but I do think you're worried about what other people think." He stopped there to let her think about that.Which she did for some time; she.
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