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Beginning in year nine of our marriage my wife, Mary, miscarried three times in a year and a half. That did something. That ended the let’s-have-sex-a-lot pattern of our lives. I know now that twice a week in the dark isn’t a lot of sex but I didn’t know that then. After the third miscarriage the doctors convinced us that another pregnancy would kill both Mary and the baby, so she had her tubes tied. On the way home from the hospital she opened a door into her thinking that she had never shared before. ‘Since I can’t have children anymore I don’t have any interest in sex.’ I didn’t say anything. I wrote off her statement to the strain and emotion of having miscarried again and having an operation. I figured that within a few weeks or a couple of months she would be inviting me back between her legs. Six months went by and not once had she kissed me like a lover or a wife. She hadn’t joined me in the shower, hadn’t patted me on the butt and was offended the three times I had patted. He had seen the battlefield out there in the Little Big Horn a few days after the Custer debacle and it seemed downright orderly in comparison. The sight of bodies face down in the fast moving water was a test of his already shattered nerves from recent violence.The temporary lawman and head of the renegade Indian posse chasing those hounds from Hell that created havoc with the civilian settlers did his best to act concerned but not in the least overwhelmed. It was difficult to keep up that pretense but he knew how important appearances were when one was the leader and everyone else was looking at you to give them a calming sense of direction and closure.Saul was not a bit shy in showing his emotions when he was mad or excited with passion and Sam was truly the opposite in every way. Sometimes, his female partners accused him of being too restrained and too gentle when they wanted wildness and rough treatment in the privacy of their night time hideaway. He knew it was a part of his.
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