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"I nodded my understanding but steeled myself at what I was about to hear. I couldn't imagine what else she could tell me that we didn't already know or speculate about with some certainty. Maybe all she would tell us would be about frequency or intensity of how things had been, but maybe there was more.I went back to the front steps and sat beside Crystal. This time I didn't put my arm around her; I sensed that she didn't want that at this instant. I looked expectantly at her, hoping she didn't have something so bad that I'd reject her – a point I couldn't even envision.Crystal put her face in her hands and when she looked up her face was again streaked with tears. She started in a halting voice that I could barely hear; "I was already in a bad way before that last night when you brought me back here drunk, with a DUI, ... and drugged up – that night just topped off something that had started months earlier." Crystal choked back another crying jag.We learned that she'd been deep into. I set two alarm clocks every night, and I showed up ten minutes early to every eight AM class in college. I treated one-night-stands like myths and made boyfriends roll on a rubber even though I was on the pill. I guess I liked following rules . . . and also breaking them.Contemplating if I could combine the two concepts, a thought struck of being propped on my knees in front of Luke, following every order to the T. The idea made me squeeze my thighs together and groan audibly, drawing confused looks from the couple next to me, but an innocent smile and the lunch bag between my legs kept my dignity intact. A quick glance at the Michael Kors on my wrist abbreviated the fantasy and I began pounding pavement back to the store. The barely-touched sandwich found a home in the garbage bin, and I felt like the cool head I was known for was right there with it.I knew what I should do and but also what I wanted to do. Normally, those two were in sync, but not today. And while I usually did.
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