Why make my relatives pay for a two thousand dollar box for worm fodder? I’d want my ashes to be scattered somewhere nice though. A river. Some place where the air is sweet and you can’t see any buildings through the trees. I want someone to pour a bottle of wine into the water, too, a final send-off as the last earthly bits of me slip downriver to the ocean. Now, as to what happens to the spirit, that’s another question entirely. I’ve never been religious, but somehow I doubt that that means I’m going to end up in Dante’s atrium. What if I just go out like a candle flame? Poof. No more me. No more worries. No more broken hearts. But what if there is something else? What if my consciousness remains? Is the heart an organ that can be translated into the spirit? What if, instead of cutting short my problems I prolong them for all eternity? My hands tremble and the blade nicks my thumb. A bead of blood wells up from the cut. It’s dark ruby red. Almost black. Not the color of valentines. After she finished she looked at me very sexy and said, "Good morning Daddy."I had to answer, "It will be now." She gave me her big smile and ran to get ready for school.I know she told her pack of girl friends all about what we did, from then on all of them were always trying to look at my cock. Her girl friends, I called them the " RAT PACK " ( Lisa, Jennie, Molly and Suzy), had been going to school together sense the first grade. They had no real parents, drug heads, drunks or whores, that didn't give a shit about them. I had been buying their school dresses and all their supplies for them for years. They also made up the high school swim and diving team, that's why they have great legs and asses.Jennie, was a little older and seemed like she was a little more wiser in the way of sex than the rest, was always looking me over. She was 5 foot 10 inches tall, black hair to the middle of her back, the darkest sexy eyes, about a 36c breast, long slim legs, and a very nice tight,.
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