I had agreed to spend the two weeks at the cabins hooking up Uncle Ed's new satellite dish network to all the cabins. In return, I was getting not only free room and board, which was usual, but the use of Ed's sailboat, and basically any damn thing I wanted from the marina, all on his account. Not that this would affect Ed in the least: he would be in Africa the whole summer, and I couldn't hope to put a dent in his bank account anyway. He just traded stuff like this with me because he liked to wheel and deal and we had struck this deal a year ago over a card game. The work was no big deal. The sailboat was. It was a big, fine sailboat, the biggest on the lake, and great fun to sail if the breeze came up.I was going to miss most of the family get-togethers this summer, as I was showing up a little late, and most of the crew was packing up and heading out. I did show up in time for the feast that usually marks the end of the vacation for most of the relatives.When I drove up to the. Headmaster Ogilvy elaborated:As you can imagine, this was very time consuming and set the school back in sports, academic achievement and the janitorial costs alone were devastating! Some urine and semen stains on carpets were so bad we had to get new ones. So the board of directors, in consultation with many alumni, came up with a solution. A loser lottery whereby two freshmen ( one boy and one girl ) would be chosen at random at the beginning of each school year.Headmistress Downton continued:These two and only these two would bear the burden and honor just one day per week throughout the school year ... that is, until they were freshmen no more ( Should one or both fail the year, they would continue to be hazed the following year as well and join another pair of new fresh-meat for Frosh Fun Friday humiliation. ) The intensity of the hazing has increased, of course. But it is still within legal bounds as you all have signed Contracts of Compliance and Consent; you are each 14 or 15.
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