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He was leaning back on the bench with his eyes closed, ignoring the view we’d hiked so far to see. His breathing was measured and heavy, his dark hair was damp with sweat, and his t-shirt was clinging to his chest. Perhaps he was learning that hiking in Georgia was a whole different ballgame than hiking in Sweden. Even exhausted and sweaty, he was gorgeous enough to make my stomach flip. ‘Ready to start back?’ I teased. He opened one eye and moaned. ‘Not funny, Linds. I feel like I’m in the world’s biggest sauna. How do you manage?’ I laughed. ‘Ah, well. I’m faking it, actually. I’m about to keel over, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.’ He reached over with one arm and laid his hand on my chest. ‘Wow.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Don’t have a heart attack, ok? I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it back myself, I know I couldn’t carry you.’ He grinned, but there was something in his eyes that made my heart pound even faster. Did he feel that, I wondered? My tank top. Find a hobby that you have an interest in and pursue that. Go to gay men’s organizations and socials and events. You’ll find others.”I thought about that conversation as I was driving to Kevin’s home. I met Kevin while watching our local Gay Pride parade. We got to be fast friends. We’ve been seeing each other for several months. He could sense that I wanted to go slow, and accommodated me. But it’s finally time to take the relationship to that next step.There’s something that I hadn’t told the doctor, but which I have told Kevin. I’m into bondage. It’s how I get stimulated enough to jack off. I’ve fantasized about being kept in bondage for a weekend. One night Kevin had asked about my sexual fantasies and I told him. A month later he told me that he could make my fantasies become a reality if I wanted it. This was both appealing and terrifying. I had to do some thinking about that, and he was willing to wait for me to decide. I finally decided that I trusted him, and was willing to.
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