This has resulted in what has become an overwhelming desire and need to talk about my feelings...with someone who could understand....who has been there. I eventually met up with a common crack whore in NYC who, in return for my slowly dished out stash of crack, provided me with the advise and course of action I have been looking for. She has suggested that some people need to be sexually humiliated..its in thier genes. She told me that they can only achieve sexual fulfillment and satisfaction by fantasizing about, and in severe cases like mine, actually experiencing it firsthand. She explained that I, rightfully so (based on what I have openly and honestly told her) that in her opinion, deserve to be sexually humiliated at the hands of those who not only would enjoy doing so, but have the expertise and willingness to test my limits to the extremes. She expertly laid out a 10 part plan for me to embark upon, designed by her to answer all my questions and determine what my place in. He also suggested that the largest marked trees be girdled (a strip of bark removed all the way around) and left standing. In a year, they would be ready for rough cut use. That was all very period to the house. Smaller trees could be thinned for building and finish wood, using more modern techniques.Rather than give a full course in frontier house construction, it suffices to say that load bearing timbers would be needed. These timbers might have a two-foot square cross section. They could be taken from the heart of, say, a two-hundred-year-old native hardwood. Five such trees were already marked for removal on the future path from house to pier. Reluctantly I gave approval. About a dozen smaller trees would also be harvested and reserved for future use.Elspeth actively enjoyed the dance of the many, sometimes competing, interests in Cloudrest. I left things to her while I went back to Concord. There, once again, I was confronted by a problem. I had several very good order takers on.
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