The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.“Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich” she said.I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers...I love mustard.I had no napkin.I licked it off.It was not mustard.No man ever put a baby down faster.It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, “Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon”.When you stop laughing, pass it on.This one is from John A.No one believes seniors ... everyone thinks they are senile.An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married. Ashe leaned forward his pendulous breasts swung out in front of him and hecould feel their weight.Tim's mind reeled. He hadn't given her an answer! He wanted to push heraway, to stop what was happening, the feeling of being pulled deeper anddeeper into femininity. There was the corrective surgery, the thousanddollars and he could still get a job, any job somewhere his thoughtsscreamed but then there was the elegant pampered kept life to think abouttoo, the extreme night and day comparison and the immediate ultimatum hecouldn't seem to get his mind around as it swirled in a mass of confusedthought. But it was just what Ms. Lawrence was counting on.She swung the silken lace trimmed cups of the pink shelf brassiere outcapturing the jiggling fleshy orbs. Tim felt the sensation, the tickleof the lace at the top of the cups and how the breasts slid into themwith ease and how the nipples pressed into the extent of the pink nylonfabric of the cups and how they tightened around and.
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