She couldn't see, her mouth was full of something strange solid but a little pliant, her head was covered by something but she had no way of telling what it wasshe was still very groggy, there was no way that she was recovering from a little choke out, she'd been drugged or maybe knocked out by something elseit was now that panic set in, she went to move, but all that she actually managed was a slight swing ....she realised that she couldn't move, her arms were bound tightly behind her ... that’s when it came to her, she was hung upside down, her legs were bound just as tightly and was suspended by her ankles.she began to thrash around, or at least tried to, she swung a little back and forth until hands grabbed her, gently but firmly, halting her in place, she felt a tugging at the side of her head, as though something was pulled away, a voice whispered "calm yourself ... you are not in a good position to be wasting energy"believing those words, she did just that, breathing hard. Maybe that's what I miss most of all.I wonder if Dad and I, the Amanda I, would have spent such quality timetogether? My father is a very special man, and I think we would have. Ithink the only difference would have bee instead of being his littleman, I would have been his princess.I had to ask myself, did I really want to become Mark again, the boyMark, or did I want to remain Amanda and have Mark be a part of my life?I certainly couldn't be Mark and be Amanda inside, could I, or did Ieven want that? If I had to make a choice today, Amanda would win, handsdown, but I still had that little thought in the back of my mind, didMark have a crush on Kurt or had I changed where people couldn't see,inside my head. Had I truly become Amanda and not known until now?It was just about dinnertime, and I headed to Cindy's. We had a lot totalk about.Even though Cindy and I go to different schools we both carry 4.00 gradepoint averages, so our conversation always waited until we finished.
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