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28/7/74, Bromley, Kent, UKIt never rains but it fucking pours.*There are two small bulbs on the panel to the right of the door. The redone is lit, and has been since Beverley left me standing here nearly tenminutes ago.She's doing it to prove how important she is. I bet she's sitting at herdesk with a copy of Cosmopolitan munching a Danish pastry.Keep it together, Rich. You're about to start fighting for your liberty.And I'll be delivering every punch reeling from the devastating double blowof discovering that not only am I expecting a child but that I already havea four year old daughter.As if being female wasn't enough to deal with.But I'm not giving up just yet. Fate owes me, and one day I intend tocollect.A buzzer sounds.Green.Here we go...I knock once and enter. The office is tiny, the window at the back givingan invigorating if somewhat constricted view of the sun-sparkled sea andcloudless azure sky.Not that I'd have spent more than a fraction of a second looking at it ifI'd. "Toby returned ten minutes later, carrying a shoebox andwearing an electric blue blazer that appeared to be adistant member of the polyester family. Sandy was doing aslow burn as Toby opened the old shoebox and stuffed hisfeet into a pair of maroon alligator wingtips. "What'seating you?" Toby finally asked."I was a fool to ask you to do this," Sandy fumed. "Youlook like a beach bum." I am a beach bum. And so were you, before you found yourinner woman. Who's shitting who?"They rode in silence through Westwood towards the BeverlyHilton, where the awards dinner was to take place. WhenSandy spoke again, he had a pleading look in his eyes. "I'msorry, Toby. I know I'm freaking out. Do you have any ideawhat I had to go through to look like this?" I can't imagine." I spent two hours in a beauty salon this morning, andanother two hours putting myself together at Ashley'splace. My dick is numb, my feet are killing me, and in lessthan an hour I've got to get up in front of a nationaltelevision.
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