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"Then she spied her nephew glancing to his right to try to sneak a peekat his iPad. "How about you, Jordie?" Hmm?" He looked at his aunt, knowing he'd been caught obsessing onhis project. "How about me, what?"She smiled. "Tomorrow morning, when I go out to the salon to make upthe hair dye for my customer, can I neaten up your hair while I'mneatening up the girls'?" My hair?" It seemed odd to Jordan. "Auntie, I haven't cut my hairin... in years." Yes, I know, and it looks like that. In fact, it's been driving mecrazy since you arrived. So, tomorrow, come out to the salon while I'mworking and I'll neaten it up for you."She could see that he was about to protest, so she spoke again. "Don'tworry, Jordan, I am not going to give you a crew cut. I'm just goingto trim up those split ends and get some of those nasty mats andsnarls out. I'm sure that you'd feel better if we could actually run acomb through that rat's nest on your head." But I have to work on..." he began, but Mary held up her. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't.
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