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I don’t really haveanyone, and honestly don’t even feel like I needsomeone to say that to me. I’m past nice with thosedreams, they just keep on – god. The thing I hate mostabout them is that they’re just shadowy feelings aboutthings I should do, and they vanish a mere moment afterI wake up…”“Don’t worry. This will be something you’ll rememberfor a long time. And I’m not talking about theexperience itself; the way it happens is a simulationof a true experience. It’ll be like actually livingthrough it, and then remembering it like just as life.– I was a little frightened at times at this, but Iknow that this is what you want. I did it just for you,every second and every sensation.”“Muchos gracias, Mike.”She gave his curly hair a kiss, taking a look at thevast amount of material he’d been collecting for this.Videodiscs, books, recordings… It had been quite ajob. She’d paid. Another pregnant silence followed, and I knew I needed to finish this beer and go back to my room. I'd had enough tripping down memory lane to last me for another lifetime. But Jeanette still had one thing left to say."Jason, do you still hate me?" she said, and again the tears were flowing down her cheeks.I just stared at her for 10, maybe 15 seconds, then shook my head."I never hated you, Jeanette," I said softly. "I hated what you did, to me and to Jamie. But I could never hate you. It wasn't in me. Time has a way of healing all wounds, and I've gotten on with my life. I had a daughter to raise and I didn't have time to wallow in a lot of self-pity, although I did my share of serious drinking for awhile. If it's any consolation, I do forgive you. It wasn't entirely your fault. I was too ambitious, too driven in my work, and I didn't see what it was doing to you, to us. It blinded me to those demons you talked about." Thank you," she whispered. "I'm glad you're happy now. You didn't.
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