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My wife, on the other hand, was a victim of a drive-by boyfriend in college, one who helped himself to her virginity with pledges of undying love, and then broken it off, cleanly, so as to cause the least pain.Oh, right.Anyway, fate placed us together in a common small city, working with common friends; their associations with us led them to play mass-matchmaker.We danced around one another at first, as will all new acquaintances, revealing bits and pieces as we spiraled around one another; the information grew more personal as our orbits began to synchronize.We shared hopes and dreams and aspirations, likes and dislikes, rhythms and blues and what-all else, until finally...Until finally, she allowed me to cook for her.I was raised by people who love a kitchen, and she explained she could set water afire, given half a chance; her culinary specialties were mac-n-cheese and instant oatmeal. Frozen dinners, too, at a pinch.My first attempt to place fresh bread and mixed vegetables and. All the snow on the balcony had melted. The silence was scary by comparison. "Impressive." Umm, I was hoping for something like a candle flame!" I think you've proved your point. Let's get back inside out of the wind, shall we?" She had a much easier time closing the doors than she did opening them as the ice and snow were gone from the balcony. We went back to the table. I had another slice of raisin pie. I was a bit hungry for some reason."Would you please believe me now that you need training?"I scratched the back of my head and grimaced. "Yeah, I pretty well have to believe now." I sat thinking for a bit. "Say, can you tell me what happed in the hall when I got here? Some nasty old guy with a white pony tail tried to hammer me, but I knocked him ass over tea-kettle. That pretty well ended the party."She looked at me as if I'd grown a horn in the middle of my forehead. "Y-y-you decked LORD ALTON?" Yup. He really had me pissed off. His words hit like hammer blows. I put up my hand.
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